Sexual Fantasies: EVERYONE Has Them!

All of us have sexual fantasies of some sort. If you say that you don’t you’re either afraid to admit it, not being truthful with yourself, or something is wrong with ya.

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Sexual fantasies reveal desires held deep inside of us. They can range from simply dreaming about being with someone other than your partner to the wild, erotic sexcapades that play out in the darkest corner of Kinksville. As the sexual creatures that we are, it’s only human nature to have these thoughts.

Research says men have almost twice as many thoughts about sex as women. Myself, I’m not so sure. I may have a little more than the average girl so, I won’t question that.

Most people are hesitant to discuss their fantasies with their partners for fear of being laughed at, making a partner mad, or of being called a pervert. The truth about it is that your partner has them too. Their fantasies probably aren’t going to be the exactly like yours but most of us fantasize about the same things.

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Why not open up to our partners and share our wants and desires? If there is good communication in your relationship, you should be able to discuss your fantasies with them. There isn’t any reason to be ashamed. You may find that you do have like desires and if so, the two of you may act out one of them; and you might even be able to check something off of your sex bucket list.

Obviously, you wouldn’t start the conversation with, “Hi, honey. I really want to bang your best friend while you watch. Would that be okay to do some time, ya think?” Talk about SHTF….. Approach and presentation are key when discussing sexual fantasies.

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Women’s fantasies are driven more by emotions and we are likely to fantasize about someone that we’ve been with. We tend to fantasize more while we are ovulating due to an increased libido, fueled by rising testosterone and estrogen levels.

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Men have more active imaginations when it comes to sexual desires and tend to have a wider variety of fantasies. They are also more open to discussing their desires. Contrary to what some women may believe, men do care about romance in their fantasies. It’s not like they’re just dreaming about the raunchiest of sex acts with every woman on the planet.

Below are some of the more common sexual fantasies that are shared by both men and women.

Sex with a stranger.

Being watched by someone while having sex with your partner- exhibitionism and voyeurism.

Watching your partner have sex with someone else.

Having aggressive sex with a partner that is usually passive – reversal of dominant/submissive roles.

Ménage a trois – threesome.

Having sex in a public place. 

Acting on bi-curious desires-mostly for women.

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These fantasies are more on the lighter side, though there are plenty more that some may deem taboo. Taboo is perfectly normal also; and just because we fantasize about something that doesn’t mean we would act on it. It’s just a sign of a typical, healthy sexual imagination.

I originally wrote this for livingloving.com.

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