Sugar and spice and everything nice….. if that was all we were made of men would want to stay around us all the time. Unfortunately, we are one of the most complex beings to walk the earth and sometimes not so sweet and appealing. Here are 20 of the biggest turn offs that are almost guaranteed to send him on a quick trip to Dodge City.
- Uncalled for bitchiness
As my favorite Bible verses state, there is a time for everything. Be a bitch when it’s necessary. It is not necessary when he wants to go fishing or hang out with the guys and watch the game; or any other time he wants to do something that you have no interest in or don’t want him to do.
Guys hate a raging jealous woman. Yes, he checked out the hot chic that just walked by. Every guy in her path did. So what? It’s how he was built and he’s leaving with you. Let him look and remember his attention span. Out of sight, out of mind. You will remember her longer than he will.
- Not shaving
He’s not into rubbing up against Sasquatch in bed. Shave your legs. He’ll never understand the little bit of warm the hairs provide, even in the dead of winter. Invest in a pair of long johns and a nice new razor.
- Being unkempt
All of us girls enjoy a day of lounging around in our jammies without the single tooth of a comb touching our heads. Limit these days. Not every day off warrants us to indulge ourselves with laziness. Shower, get dressed, fix yourself up, and tend to those nails. You wanna look good for him anyway.
- Loud mouths
No one wants an obnoxious, overbearing, loud mouthed woman. Confidence and standing up for what you believe in is sexy. Voice raising and causing a scene is not.
- Negative attitude
Debbie Downers are a drag. Everyone picks up on the vibes and it’s quite unattractive.
- Talking about Aunt Flo
No matter how much we wish guys could understand what a bitch she is, they never will. He’s happy to know she made a trip to town but he doesn’t want to know any of the details of her visit.
- Not eating in front of him
We have to eat to sustain ourselves, so the mere existence of your being lets him know you eat. Don’t act like you don’t when he’s around. Pretending that you don’t do the obvious might make him wonder about things you tell him that aren’t a requirement for life. And guys simply don’t like when a girl is afraid to gain a pound. Eat up.
You’re not his Momma nor his boss, don’t try to be. Bossy is bitchy and we covered that in 1.
- Beating around the bush
He’s not a mind reader. Sometimes he doesn’t even understand the things we’re straight forward about. Say what you’re thinking. Your chances are way better than dropping clues and hoping he’s wearing his invisible detective hat.
- Trying to mold him into someone he’s not
Let him be who he is. Guys hate when we try to change them. By the time you meet him, he’s well set in his ways. Trying to make him into something he’s not is, well….dictatorish and bitchy; refer to 9 and 1.
- Too much talking and too many details
Most times less is more, especially when dealing with the male brain which has less of a need for specific details than the female brain. He doesn’t want to know every word that was said between you and your best friend during your latest spat. He’s good with knowing y’all had a fight.
- Talking about exes
This is almost a no brainer. Men have about as much of a desire to hear about the wonderful things your ex did as you care to hear about the last woman he dated. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
- Picture taking
Having his picture taken with or without you, every day, is something he can do without. In fact, most men can’t stand it. They like to be seen with you. They just don’t like to have every moment captured for a keepsake; nor do they want their mugs plastered all over social media for every Tom, Dick, and Harry to see.
- Fake tans
Every man can appreciate your skin tone when it’s been kissed by the sun. Fluorescent bulbs are not the sun and it’s obvious when you tan under them. Orange skin is highly unattractive as well. I don’t even think skeeters will bite you when you’ve coated yourself in “orange skin from a bottle”.
- Stinking to high Heaven
I’m not talking about body odor and taking a shower, I covered that on 4. I’m talking about taking a bath in perfume or smelling like you did. Always go with the less is more approach. Smelling like a French whore is as much as a turn off as it’d be if you didn’t shower for a week.
- Painting your face on
A little make up is okay. Accentuate your gorgeous eyes and draw attention to your beautifully set high cheek bones, he will find that attractive. Looking like a clown that applied their make-up with a butter knife is a not just a no-no, it’s a hell no. Your natural features, even if they aren’t flawless, hold more beauty than when they look like an artist’s palette.
- Poor Me Syndrome
Guys hate whining and guilt trips. Save the drama for your Momma….or your girlfriends; anyone else but him.
- Trying to one up him
Never try to one up a story that he tells you, even if it is lame. Guys have to flex their egos with a good story from time to time. Let him have his moment and bite your tongue if need be.
- Possum sex
Although most guys can get it on with just about anything with a hole, the blow up doll is a prime example of this, being completely motionless during sex is almost enough to kill the mood. He expects it out of the plastic airbag. He wants movement out of you. Less may be more with a few of the other things I’ve mentioned; not on this. He wants to tango with you…..and that takes two.
I originally wrote this for livingloving.com.